I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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