Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
