We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
