and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
