Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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