i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
