I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
