Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm both gender and math confused
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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