On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
