bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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