Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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