who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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