I'm drive I can fine osifer
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
