i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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