And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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