Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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