he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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