drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i love accidental penises.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
