I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize