guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
