I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
