I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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