My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
