Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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