the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
