And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
