Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
