my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
