btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
