Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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