I'm gonna have a badass scar
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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