i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox