Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I met the friendliest cop last night
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
