hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.