just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.