This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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