The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
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So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
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Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.