I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid