we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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