We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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