Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
