my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
