So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think I just sharted jello shots
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
