You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
