It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
