you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
