dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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