If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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