as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
