I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
