Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
