Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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