Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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