We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
