wrigley field is MILF paradise
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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