she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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