My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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