too bad you live with your parents still
i think my mom watched the whole time
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
