He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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