I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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