that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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