guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize