I want to walk on stilts...naked
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
