Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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