its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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