this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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